I used to believe that people couldn’t change. You are who you are. You have good and bad aspects to your personality, good and bad habits, featured steadily on some sort of moral scale, and depending on how happy or sad you felt presented to the world around you accordingly.
That’s what I used to believe. No doubt there are many out there who would still argue that that is the case. I was even told as much by the woman I once loved enough to get married to, have a child with. The woman who would walk out the door, leaving both myself and our son. The same woman whose actions I now completely understand and hold no blame against. For her actions became the catalyst, the awakening call that rose me from my slumber, the inspiration I needed, that made me realise that personal change is possible.
After the initial shock of our separation had subsided and I endured the feelings of worthlessness and introspection, depression and despondency, something changed within me. I decided to change or at the very least improve upon who I was. Of course I still had my self doubts if this was even possible, you are who you are after all. Or so I thought at the time. I really wasn’t expecting much and suppose at that time was doing it as more of a distraction from myself than anything else. I felt I wasn’t good enough, whatever that was, and needed to do something different from what I was doing.
The discovery of a simple premise about mindsets (See The Magic Ingredient) was a revelation I needed and it came just at the right time. It made me realise something important. I could change as much as I liked. It was just about having the right frame of mind.
That message, the decision between having a fixed or growth mindset, set me free and continues to do so. The remarkable thing about it is that now, not only do I believe that change is possible, but I wonder how I could have been so wrong, and wonder why others still are.
I wonder how I could have been so blind because now everywhere I look I see change. The world is in constant motion. The earth revolves around the sun. The universe is expanding. Everything is moving, changing, all the time. Your circumstances, the people around you. Even yourself. Cells in your body die and are replaced after days, weeks, years. The average body makes about 2 to 3 million red blood cells every second. Change is a fact of life. Nothing is immutable or set in stone. The only end, which spiritualists will even debate, is death.
So I say to you. If you are not happy with the way things are and feel that something in your life needs changing. Then do it. The only thing stopping you is yourself.
Admittedly I was forced into my position and often wonder how different things would have been for myself, my son, even my soon-to-be ex-wife, if I had made my changes long ago. Don’t be me. Don’t be the person that change is forced upon. Be the person that makes the changes to your life that you need. That you want. The world is forever changing and we all are changing with it. If you want to change there is no one to be held accountable other than yourself. It’s all up to you! The possibilities are endless.