It’s a sentiment we’ve all heard at some point in our lives. I’m sure it’s something a lot of us have even said. Probably to someone in great pain or suffering. In a time of anguish.
Thing is, if it is said to you, the thought, the question, that probably went through your head was ‘Will it?’, ‘Is it ever going to be?’.
When you hear those words your state of mind is probably such that things being ‘ok’ couldn’t be further from the truth. Either you are not ‘ok’, or the situation isn’t, and at that time, in that place, you might feel that the only way things would be ‘ok’ were if you weren’t there. That you were somewhere, anywhere, far away from all that pain and suffering.
The good news is that sentiment is actually true. The bad news is that it will take two things. Something that you can do something about…and something you can’t. Those things are time and effort.
Of course this isn’t what you want to hear, especially in the moment those words are said to you. Why should you care about time and effort when your heart is on the floor, trampled by a thousand hooves, shredded into multiple pieces, and then dumped into an abyss. Causing you nothing but pain.
Time, (oh how much we despise this one), as the cliché goes, is a great healer. Not the best, but it works. But how much time? When will you feel better? No one can answer that. It sucks. Trust me I know.
The thing you can do something about is effort. Any effort is good enough. In the beginning maybe it’s just getting out of bed and facing your day. That’s great. It’s the biggest most important step of all. In time (oh no that again) you can build on that. Any movement will help.
It might just mean putting effort into acceptance. Cultivating the right attitude towards your problem. Accepting what you can’t change, or accepting that it is your responsibility to change that which you can.
Look, as harsh as this sounds, if you are in the position that someone is telling you everything will be ok. I am truly sorry for the terrible position you feel yourself to be in. But there is no escaping it. There’s no secret door to an easy way out. No free pass. You have to live with it, and continue to do so. Things will never be the same, but when are they anyway? The world is constantly changing, as are the people that inhabit it.
You will probably feel a hole in yourself so big you’ll wish it could swallow you. There might be a tightness in your chest that makes it almost impossible to breathe. A tightness that physically hurts. Tears will flow, uncontrollably. You will feel lost, alone, like on a single ship in a storm. And in that time all you can do is tie yourself to the mast. Strap in and hold on tight. Hold on for all your worth.
It will pass. It will get easier. It will get better. The storm will subside, the pain lessen. Little by little, bit by bit. Over time (its a persistent so and so). But again, the reality is a mark will be left. A deep cut always leaves a scar. But it’s a scar from a wound that has been healed.
I guess I’m just trying to let you know what I see and have experienced as truth. Sometimes life really isn’t easy, or fair. Sometimes we have to endure things we don’t want to. Sometimes it is just too much and all you can do is crumble, be broken.
But please, hold on, grab whatever good you can see with both hands. Put yourself together again. Rebuild yourself stronger than before. Have a little faith in yourself if no one else.
Look, anyone who ever read any of my posts will tell you. Yes, I am always trying to be better, improve upon myself, shine a little light into the dark, inspire, elevate, grow. But I am not always that way. I’m not one of these people that constantly wears a smile. I’m not the type of person to hide behind a facade of false positivity. Yes, when I am feeling it and the way seems clear, I will be shouting it from the rooftops, but likewise, when I am low and struggling, I will show you that too. That’s reality. No one is ‘on’ all the time and if they say otherwise I would assume they are lying. We all have our yin and yang, or light and dark sides. Can be positive and negative.
But I am telling you this now because I believe it to be true. And I am not just saying it to you, but to myself as well. It’s what the title of this post really should have been. Everything will be ok!