As children we are told that monsters aren’t real. That they are just a figment of our imagination, only in our head. That is true. But there is one monster that lurks within us all. A monster that sometimes rears its ugly head when we aren’t expecting it. A head that contains green eyes. The monster of jealousy.
We can all fall victim to this monster at some point or other. There is no specific time in which that monster can arise. It comes at different times, for different reasons. And it’s never pretty.
It might come out because we envy the wealth someone has. It might be because someone is more beautiful than ourselves, is more popular, has more success. It could be because we feel threatened, like when you have a partner and someone is paying them special attention. We each have our reasons for the beast to come forth.
I’ve been a victim of this monster in recent days but not from where I would have expected. I’ve never really been envious of anyone’s riches or success. Always saying to myself their hard work and diligence got them there. My old monster was in relation to my soon-to-be ex-wife and men flirting with her.
But a new one appeared. One I wasn’t expecting. It wasn’t just a case of out it popped either. It was a slow release and it took me until this morning to realise how much it was affecting my mind. Thankfully I’ve seen that monster and put it away.
Since I’ve started getting into blogging and reading more about it I’ve wondered what makes a good blog. Obviously there are lots of different types out there. Each successful in their own right, their own niche. The unifying factor to me was the obvious amounts of time and effort put into their content. Blogs with thousands of followers that have been on the go for years.
But a relatively recent blog which has seen a staggering increase of followers in a very short time frame piqued my attention. I couldn’t understand it. It didn’t seem to be anything special. In fact to me it seemed the antithesis of what would be considered a great blog.
It was more like an Instagram on steroids type of thing. Unlike anything else I had seen it contained more pictures of the admittedly pretty blogger than anything else. The same blogger who was usually the first to like her own post. Something I failed to understand. Was it an algorithm thing or narcissism? Obviously you like what you’ve posted or you wouldn’t have done so. But to actually then hit your own like button on that. To me that takes a certain level of conceitedness.
Oh there were profound appealing quotes which turned out to have been something that was read somewhere else but not attributed to the original author or else attributed to them further down the post. A comment section which often times would resemble something from a dating app indicating that despite what people think about blogging, which to me equates to writing, as long as you look aesthetically pleasing you’ll gain interest.
That particular blogger could be seen everywhere. Any post I looked at they had liked, and usually commented. At one point I had questioned to myself could they be real? Were they a bot? They were that prolific it seemed almost unnatural.
I guess my suspicions arose when a comment I made was liked within minutes. A comment on a post that I made over a month previous. At that time it would have taken a minute to even scroll to where that post and comment was on my blog. It frightened me a little, my paranoia kicked in. Was my account hacked and they could see my notifications?
I then became slightly obsessed by this blogger. I didn’t see then that my eyes were getting greener by the minute. I didn’t realise the thoughts I was having were all stemming from jealousy. I didn’t see that it was my monster poking its head out.
The reality is that person was obviously working very hard at their blog, putting a lot of time and effort into it. Being an active member of the WordPress community. The blog they were doing was in their own style. What felt good for them. And it was working extremely well.
If anything I should have been giving them my support. They were doing what we are all trying to do. Reaching an audience. Having their words read. Making their blog a success.
Whatever they were doing was working, is working. They deserve nothing but praise for what they have achieved. It is very impressive. I had to put my monster away to realise that.
I guess what I’m trying to say is don’t let your jealously affect you the way it effected me. It’s a horrible infectious thing and will spread if you don’t get it under control. It will create problems where there are none. Make you a feel a way about something you actually have no right to feel. A negative feeling that is only in your head after all but may well have consequences.
We are all on our own unique journey and should appreciate other peoples blessings as much as we appreciate our own. That monster of jealousy is an ugly, nasty beast and should be put in the same place as our childhood monsters. Under the bed and out of sight.