Face It…Before It Faces You.(Updated)

It’s safe to assume we’ve all got something on our minds that we have to deal with. It could be something life-changing or something fairly innocuous but just enough to be bugging us. If you have that something right now you’ll know what I am writing about. It’s the thing you where you would much rather do something else, much rather put off, than actually face it.

The thing is, it is probably taking up quite a bit of your thoughts, your time, causing you a certain level of anxiety, even fear. You’ve probably even been running through a variety of different scenarios in regards to how that issue will go when confronted. What the possible outcomes will be.

At best, the result could be what you really wish for. At worst, it could be the type of situation where there is no good result. Just a result with varying levels of heartbreak or hurt. With more worry and anxiety added to the mix.

We always hear about people talking about procrastination. The Cambridge dictionary says that to procrastinate is ‘to keep delaying something that must be done, often because it is unpleasant or boring’. But usually people are applying that to a particular task, like work that has to be done, something physical.

Less often is it applied to a difficult conversation that must be had. A conversation that isn’t work related but something personal. It may even be a conversation you just have to have with yourself. Something which could affect your life in ways you may not necessarily welcome.

It might just be something that is niggling at the back of your mind. Something that just doesn’t feel quite right. Something that doesn’t really have a big effect on your life just yet. But it’s there. You know it.

You just might not want to admit it. Might not want to face it. You might even rationalise that it is such a small thing that if it becomes vocalised it could turn into something much larger and that is something you feel you really don’t want.

The problem is, if you have any such decisions, or conversations, looming ahead of you, and you haven’t done anything about them, you will be in constant fear of them. They will always be on your mind. The bigger the problem or imagined consequence, the less you might actually want to face it. The bigger the fear you will carry because of it. Some people carry those fears for days, weeks, even years.

We’ve all been in a position where we have had to face a situation like this at some time or another. A situation where we have had a build-up to making a decision. We’ve probably thought about it for quite a while, prepared for all the possible outcomes, prepared all those erudite and eloquent responses in our heads, only to find that when the time comes the actual outcome is nothing like we imagined. Things are said we weren’t expecting. The reaction not what we believed would happen.

Just to be clear. I am writing this as someone who is experiencing all this right now. I have something I need to face. I think I have thought of all the possible outcomes. Really, I don’t know what to expect. I’ve prepared for the worst. I am hoping for the best.

This has only come about after a dream I had where the ‘worst’, and possibly the truest, outcome was repeatedly thrust in my face. I don’t know if it was my subconscious mind trying to get me to face up to my reality. A reality I am having difficulty with. A reality I am not too clear on either. It’s hard to tell with dreams.

A combination of this and a blog post and comment I read from the blogger in question the following morning made my mind up for me. And inspired me with this post. (Thanks Suki! https://baffledmum.com/ )

Thing is, that day I had 2 opportunities to face my difficulty. And I still didn’t. As I’m writing this now I’m telling myself today is the day. That opportunity is coming around again. I cannot delay any longer. I must have courage. I need the truth. Only through the truth can I see where I stand. Only through the truth can I see the road I must be on. Only through the truth. No matter what that truth may be.

Does it not make sense? Why wait for the problem to come to you? Why not face it before it faces you? At least then you will be in the position of being on surer ground. It might not be the ground you want to stand on. But at least it will be solid. It will be your ground. Not someone elses. You’ll be instigating not just receiving.

You won’t feel like the boxer on the ropes trying desperately to defend against the onslaught. You’ll be standing tall, with your guard up. Standing face on. Ready for the challenge!

P.s. The opportunity didn’t come around as hoped today. It might later. All I know is the next time it does it will be faced. That’s the only way forward.

Update: So I got the chance. The opportunity I was waiting for. It still took me 2 consecutive cups of tea before I could muster the courage to say what I needed to.

At the moment I’m finding it difficult to pick the right words. The conversation is over. In actual fact, it is not just the conversation that is over. It’s a chapter in my life. It’s finished, done.

I am quite sad about that. I’m not entirely surprised. It was half what I expected. Let’s just say my subconscious mind was right. There is a reality I now know for sure I have to deal with. I’m not really ok with that. But that’s for me to live with. To get over.

It’s not all bad though. I surprised myself with a new sense of composure. Normally, when I am dealing with something emotional, especially something life-changing, I can get very flustered, annoyed, angry. Not this time. I put into practice the things I have learned. I was calm, collected. I was facing this on the terms I imposed upon myself. Not someone elses.

I also now know where a line has been firmly drawn. I know where and where not my future thoughts shall dwell. Yes, there is a sadness. Yes, I secretly hoped it wouldn’t turn out the way it did. Oh, how I hoped.

At least now I can move forward, move on. My heavy heart will lighten. A new chapter will be written. My story isn’t over yet.

28 thoughts on “Face It…Before It Faces You.(Updated)

  1. Very true! We often realise only later that we should have done things way before, instead of obsessing/overthinking about them. Really well written! 😊

  2. Hello Chris, hope you had a nice weekend πŸ™‚ Loved the spirit of facing the problem before it faces you! Most of us rather deny and hide than face…it’s not easy at all but we discover ultimately that it’s the best and only way!
    I wish you the best of luck and I have nominated you for the Liebster Award πŸ™‚ This time without questioning whether you will like it or not but you’re free of course to take it or leave it ☺
    https://huguetta.wordpress.com/2019/03/24/liebster-award-nomination/

    1. Hi Huguette. I’m just back from visiting your post. Left a little comment for you πŸ™‚ Thank you.
      I thought you would enjoy the spirit of this one. I would imagine it’s something you are good at!
      It is the best and only way. All the best things to help us grow are never easy anyway.
      Had a great weekend thank you.
      Hope you did too.
      Now I must go…I have another comment of yours to answer πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      1. hahah yes I already answered but don’t worry I’m about to sleep πŸ˜‚
        Yes I am, but we’re not perfect, I surely have something in the closet, probably very hard to face…
        My weekend was great as well and always glad to interact with you πŸ™‚ Have a good night

      2. Ha ha. The morning will come quick. Just about to go to bed also but wanted to get your reply in first.
        Ah sure nobody’s perfect. That’s what makes us interesting! As long as we keep trying to do good is the main thing πŸ™‚
        Have a good night yourself. Hope you have a pleasant sleep 😴

      3. Thank you Chris, yes sure doing good and being good is dominating πŸ™‚
        Same to you πŸ™‚ Good night and sweet dreams 😴

      1. Let’s say maybe getting better at taking the rough with the smooth Chris and trying to keep up my practice of gratitude! πŸ˜₯🀣

      2. Well I hope you get more smooth than rough!
        Keep that practice up. Although it can be difficult at times.
        No bother to you Marie πŸ™‚

      3. We seem to have one adult child motoring on the smooth since last June and the other adult child has hit (though I know nothing about golf), a bunker since November but we are starting to see light again in the near distance! If you have instagram check out the progress and setbacks if you wish @reallyhandyandy

  3. Chris I totally loved your idea of facing our problems and fears with bold face.❀ Moreover, I think it’s the only logical thing to do. Closing our eyes, and hoping that all our problems will somehow magically disappear. Well, that’s something we all know, never gonna happen. πŸ˜‚Neither we can hope someone else would do that for us. As you said, sooner or later we have to face it. So better be all prepared and face it before it gets more complicated. That’s something I’m gonna reflect upon as well. There are some issues I have been denying for quite a long time. I guess, your post is a sign, that it’s time to face them with a bold face, just like you. πŸ˜†
    I wish you Good Luck 😊

    1. Thank you for your kind words and I am glad it has resonated with you πŸ™‚
      Yes, wishing the problem is just going to disappear isn’t going to work although it would be great if it did 😁
      Facing our problems can be so daunting especially the longer we dwell on them. I think we all do that at some time or other so you’re not alone. Gees I even chickened out 2 times and that was when I was willing myself to just do it! It’s not easy but in the long run it’s the best thing for us.
      It’s funny that one of the things that inspired me was a little short story. Guess I’m just passing it on πŸ™‚
      I am sending you the best of wishes and courage! And I really hope you get the outcome you wish for 😁πŸ₯Š
      Good luck!

      1. Thanks a lot for your wishes😊
        And, if it makes you feel any better, I can’t remember how many times I have chickened out (even when, I certainly made my mind that I’m gonna do it).πŸ˜” It feels as if, my brain has put some kind of emergency breakπŸ˜…
        It’s interesting to know that a short story inspired you. I’m huge fan of short stories. I think they teach you very important lessons in most interesting way.😁
        I’m glad you passed on the lesson 😊
        Have a great day!

    1. I don’t know if I am glad you can relate Ramyani. Obviously I am happy you can appreciate my words but it’s a tough position to be in when something is on your mind that you need to confront. I do wish you well!
      Ha Overthinking is the curse of the creatives I think. Sometimes we think too much! Good luck with your endeavours!

      1. Me too! Sure I’ve been thinking about what a have to do/say all day. Although when the time comes I know it will be then my mind will decide to go blank! πŸ˜‚
        You’re welcome Ramyani. Take care ❀

  4. i am glad to have this after you had a chance to face the conversation that was bugging you. I have a few of those i need to talk out but still cannot muster the courage, or maybe because i know what the outcome will be? so i keep silent. i am glad you had a go though and now feel lighter and more in control of your life going forward. i don’t like confrontation and usually let things slide, though my journal gets the brunt of my frustration!! you have a most rational and methodical way of approaching a problem, very much like me, and i think it works best to face any problem one step at a time, one bite at a time. wishing you more clear days like these Chris, believe me i know how hard you are working on yourself, all for the benefit of your boy, he must be so proud of you too.

    1. Thank you for your lovely words Gina. It’s certainly never easy. Especially when you have an idea of what the outcome may be. I used to try and ignore my problems. I feel I have paid the price for that. Can’t allow that to be the case anymore.
      I wish you lots of strength and courage for any issues you may have to face. And I hope they will always work out in your favour πŸ™‚

      1. Thank you Chris….a busy morning here and wish I had more time to chat with you…I really enjoy our conversations….take care

      2. Ah yes, I know what you mean. Finding the time can be difficult.
        It’s always a pleasure to converse with you Gina. Take care too!

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