Dwelling In, Then Dealing With, Depression.

Depression is a sadness that sucks all the life and light out of your existence. A sadness that can even make you question that very existence. At times like that all you can do is hang on. Cling to what you can and do whatever it takes to get through your day.

A dark day that might turn into a dark night and may just be followed by more of the same. When you are in the midst of it, it seems like it’s impossible to get out of. In fact you can’t think a world even exists without it.

Dwelling In, Then Dealing With, Depression
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I’m writing this post to you because I realised something about my blog today. I realised I started this blog when I was in a good frame of mind. I realised that mostly I’ve written about the things that have helped me. The outlook I now have. The hope I see in the future.

Oh I’ve written about the odd hiccup that has come along. The days I’ve just fumbled through. The days that have been harder than others. There’s a little bit here and there alluding to how I felt before all this.

I think it’s time to give you a bit of clarity on that. I think that in order for anyone who is in a difficult position. Is feeling depressed, lost, or confused. Is in the midst of their own black, seemingly endless, cloud. That can’t see the forest of hope because of those damned depressing trees, then you need to know this.

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First off. If you are depressed or grieving get help. I didn’t. But that’s only because I’ve always had a bad habit of not doing so. It’s better if you do. This is only how I dealt with mine.

Secondly. I know when you’re in the middle of it you feel helpless. Someone telling you it’ll be ok doesn’t help at that time. Hearing everything will be ok will probably annoy you (It will be though πŸ™‚ . Β If you haven’t already read my post: Everything Will Be Ok…Or Will It? http://potheadtoprovidence.com/2019/02/20/everything-will-be-ok-or-will-it/ )

When Things Get On Top Of You
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Here’s the reality. Well, here’s what my reality was. The reality before things got better. Before I started working on my mind and body. Before I got myself to the position I’m in now.

A position of hope, belief, and wonder, for what lies ahead. A position were very little depressive thoughts even enter my mind.

That reality was…I cried. I cried a lot. Matter of fact for months all I did was cry. Cry and listen to music. Mostly sad songs by the way.

Thing is, I’m a grown man in his 40s. The society I grew up in puts a stigma on that. It shouldn’t. But it mostly does. Oh it’s alright if it’s at a big sporting event. A favourite team has just won an important game. A famous player has died. But crying out of weakness. Because of emotions. We can’t be having that. Sometimes our hypocrisy stinks.

Dwelling In, And Dealing With, Depression
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From the moment my ‘wife’ walked out the door. Leaving her son and I behind. I cried. I cried and carried an emotional hurt that was so bad I felt it. It was a physical pressure on my chest. A tightness that wouldn’t seem to leave. I felt confused…actually, I can’t really explain how I felt.

Let’s just say it sucked. It sucked a lot. It sucked more than the suckiest thing that has ever sucking sucked.

I did my best to make sure my son didn’t hear or see me when I was like that. I always tried to put on a facade for him although I knew he felt it too.

I cried when I was making dinner, when having a shower, when cleaning the house, when driving to work. Frankly I cried every time my son couldn’t see me. There was nothing else I could do. I was consumed by feelings of worthlessness. I felt hollow and empty. A failure of the highest degree.

I worried about how my son felt too. My ‘wife’ had only left me after 13 years together. She had left him after his entire life. It was all his world had known and now it was broken. Shattered into a million depressing pieces.

At that time I was struggling to pick up my pieces nevermind his. Hell, I couldn’t even see where they were.

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Oh did I say that I was also smoking serious amounts of marijuana at the time also. I always used to smoke on a regular basis. But this was something else. Snoop Dog wouldn’t have had a look in. If I’d lived in Amsterdam or any of the legalized states in America there would have been none left for anyone else.

From a long time ago I’ve always found solace in music. Whether happy or sad. I’m the type of person to play a song on repeat for a ridiculous amount of time. Whatever catches my mood. The song that just seems right for the time. I will listen to that. Over and over and over again.

During those first couple of months all I could do was smoke and listen to music. There was a period of weeks where the only songs I listened to were the Imagine Dragon’s Nothing Left To Say and Alexiane’s A Million On My Soul. I listened and cried, I listened whilst crying, then I listened and cried some more. At that time those songs spoke to me like no others.

Dwelling In, Then Dealing With, Depression
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I felt lost, alone, hopeless. The house my son and I lived in, the house that we once called home, contained us in our misery. When I wasn’t off crying we sat together on the sofa. Hours, days, weeks, we spent there sitting close watching tv. Then we went to bed (He had moved into my room the night my ‘wife’ left) and he snuggled tight against me.

I would wait until he fell asleep and would get back up again to smoke and cry some more. Listening to songs that reminded me of her. Songs that spoke of love when I had none.

And the mornings. The mornings when all I wanted to do was pull the duvet back over me and ignore the world. The mornings that made me feel my own sad reality over and over again after a forgetful sleep. The mornings where I would wake to see my son’s face and not my ‘wife’s’ and be reminded of the loneliness that the day would bring for both of us. The mornings that set the tone for the rest of the day. They were the hardest.

I knew I couldn’t live like that. I knew my son deserved better. I deserved better for myself also but I couldn’t see that at the time.

Dwelling In, Then Dealing With, Depression.
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I can’t pinpoint when things changed exactly. There wasn’t an ‘aha’ moment. I didn’t wake up one day feeling bright and happy. Happiness is still a work in progress. Thankfully it’s winning out more often than not.

The important thing is things did change. I made them change. I made them change by focusing on my mind. Being conscious of my thoughts. By changing my mindset. By accepting the negatives and trying to replace them with positives. By starting to exercise. I believe movement is a great help considering that when you are depressed it’s usually a struggle to do anything. You just want to lie about and dwell in your misery.

Get your body moving and your mind will follow.

Of course at the beginning it was only little by little. The crying eventually getting less and less as I learned to focus on what I had to do rather than what I had lost. Focus on making things better for my son which also meant making things better for myself.

Dwelling In, Then Dealing With, Depression
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Look, the reason why I’m telling you this. The reason I’m baring my soul to you is just to show that no matter how low you feel, no matter how helpless your situation, no matter how dark your days are. There’s always hope. You can’t see through that darkness when you are in it. But just because you can’t see a way out, a way to a better life, doesn’t mean it’s not there.

Sometimes all you can do is cry. Be consumed by that hellish hole of non-existence. If that’s all you can do. Do it. That crying will help the time pass. It will sooth the part of you that’s hurting. It keeps you alive.

As for me and my son now. He’s getting better. His mother and he are rebuilding their relationship. They are waiting to see a counsellor. He seems to be getting a bit happier as time goes on.

And me? I’m not the man I used to be. I’ve never felt as strong, as optimistic, as positive as this ever. And there’s not a drug in sight.

I don’t even recognise the person I was before all this happened. The person I was for decades. For the first time in my life I feel like I’m living. Truly living. If something important scares me. I face it. I’m seeking life’s challenges. Asking it to give me all its got. Gee’s I’ve even got goals and aspirations.

Those dark days have passed away into relative obscurity. They have passed and the light has come shining through. I’m almost blinded by its brilliance. I feel it in me, around me, lighting up my path.

Dwelling In, Then Dealing With, Depression
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So when it’s dark and you can’t see just do what you can to get through those days. If all you can do is lie in bed. Do that. Just don’t do it forever.

If those dark thoughts are all there is. If they consume your mind. Just remember that your time will come. It won’t always be that way. There will be a moment you say to yourself that this can’t go on. That things have to change.

When that time comes have courage, have faith, have whatever it takes to make you move. Move and keep moving. The miracle won’t happen overnight but that movement will take you forward into a life you have yet to imagine. There is always a way forward. It might be clouded, hidden, concealed. But it’s there waiting to be found.

You can be the person you need to be to find the path to your happiness or at least lift you out of the abyss. It will take time. It will take effort. It will take you to make a decision for yourself. A decision I once heard in a movie that has always resonated with me. The decision to ‘get busy living or get busy dying’.

 

 

 

 

 

 

62 thoughts on “Dwelling In, Then Dealing With, Depression.

  1. I’m sorry you went through such a tough time, but i’m glad you forged ahead ahead, and changed things for the better. It isn’t easy, like you said, and it takes a huge amount of willpower to do it. Thank you for sharing your story even more, and helping to lift the stigma on mental illness.

    1. I appreciate your kind words and you taking the time to say so. I actually find it annoying there even is a stigma with mental illness. Everyone suffers at some stage in their lives. Hopefully this will make someone feel it’s ok if they have problems or are suffering and that it is possible to change that.
      Anyways. Thanks again and best wishes to you πŸ™‚

      1. No worries. πŸ™‚

        There shouldn’t be stigma about any disease. They all suck, require treatment, and support. They also tend to be beyond the control of the one they afflict. Not that people seem to think that at all.

        You’re welcome, and hope you are taking care of yourself! πŸ™‚

      2. I agree. People seem more able to accept physical ailments but when it comes to mental problems…
        Thank you KEM. I appreciate your concern.
        Hope you are keeping well πŸ™‚

  2. This is some article dear Chris! So glad you decided to write about the days that preceded hope and getting better days! This is totally a new level of authenticity and inspiration πŸ‘ πŸ‘

    It takes lot of courage to describe all these dark nights and days, How much you cried and cried how much effort it was made to not show your kid how fucked up and depressed you are …
    when we’re there we don’t really think there’s a light out there
    « You don’t think the world even exist without itΒ Β»
    so I’m glad you could get out of this black hole « depressing treesΒ Β» that are covering the entire view!
    We have the same Stigma here on men crying, guess it’s everywhere but it’s not a shame at all especially overcoming all these tears is extremely amazing and astonishing!
    I’m sure how sucked it was!! How miserable and depressing…You can’t even imagine you’ll ever get out of it!
    « The million depressing pieces you couldn’t even find!Β Β»

    And then you could change your mindset on your own and be positive and strong and optimistic? Hats off is what I can say and well done! You’re an idol and an example be followed certainly so I hope many will read and realize that no matter how dark it can get, they can find the light if they just move and make baby steps I hope so really!

    Such an inspiring testimony and I’m so glad I’ve got the chance to meet this person that has risen from the darkness to be full of life and love and optimism πŸ‘πŸ‘
    It’s such an honor 😊
    Much love and support to you and A 😊😊❀️

    1. Wow. Huguette. Just Wow. Those were some heavy words. An ‘idol’ and ‘honor’…to know me?! Me?! Thought I was done with crying. But you’re making me bite my lip to contain myself.
      I’m actually at a bit of a loss for words. Really. I wasn’t expecting such a response. Even from your lovely self.
      I will say this though. That last paragraph is exactly how I felt about you after reading ‘Eagle’.
      So for you to be saying this to me is truly humbling πŸ™
      I appreciate the love and support for me and A especially 😊
      Much love to you 😊❀ (If there was an emoji for a bow Japanese style I would use it here) πŸ™

      1. You should be proud as fuck that after all the shit you were in, you carried yourself from darkness to light !! I’m just saying the truth, pure facts so you really don’t need to thank me
        If you think many people survive depression well you’re mistaken and if they ever do, they become inspiration and example and idol for others!
        So let me use that bow Japanese style not you πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ˜Š
        Much love always 😊❀️

      2. Nah. No pride for that here. Just happy that I am where I am.
        Don’t think I’m any different from anyone else. Anyone could do the same if they tried and kept trying.
        Can’t have you bowing too. We’d bump heads πŸ˜‚
        Much love always to you too 😊😊❀

      3. Well giving yourself some credit with staying modest won’t harm at all 😊
        It would be some funny scene then πŸ˜‚ I warn you my stubborn head might seriously harm you πŸ˜‚
        Much love to you 😊❀️

      4. Haha hotheaded and hardheaded. Deadly combination 😁
        A came home with more stones in his pocket. He seemed quite happy. Said the problem was sorted. Don’t know what to think πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
        Much Love Huguette 😊😊❀

      5. 😁😁 deadly indeed!
        Good morning 🌞 hope you’re having a good day 😊
        I wanted to ask you and now I know there are more stones hahahπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ great! How sorted?
        Much love to you 😊❀️

      6. Haha Good morning Huguette. I hope it actually is a good morning for you with some sunshine 😁
        Yes, more stones πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ But he was emptying them out of his pockets saying he didn’t need them. They saw the older kid and his friend only this time A and his friends were all together. There are 6 of them. Words were said. The other guys ran away haha
        Getting ready for work today. Very slowly I might add πŸ˜‚
        Hope you have a great day.
        Much love to you 😊❀

      7. the power of words πŸ˜€ Amen! hahaha
        Great it was solved with some words πŸ˜€
        It’s a sunny day, Finally! Back to the routine and work which is good for me 😊 Hope you’ll have a good day even if it’s slow after a long holiday, it’s so normal 😊
        Much love to you as well 😊 <3

      8. Jesus Huguette. You’re quick hahaha
        Thank the Lord for your work computer πŸ™πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜‚
        Sunny?! At last. Bet you’re happy 😁
        I’ll be happy with the routine too. As soon as I get my ass in gear. On my 2nd tea already πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
        He told me it was solved with words. Whether that’s the whole story is another matter πŸ˜‚ He was on speakerphone with a friend yesterday and I heard his friend say “I’m in the car with my dad so I can’t say fuck. But you can fucking say it if you want!” I could do nothing but laugh. A just got redfaced haha
        Hope you have a good day too 😊
        Much love 😊❀

      9. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ indeed! Back to work
        Oh yes the sun makes me happy πŸ˜ƒ
        You’ll get there haha the moment the day starts for real after the third tea probably πŸ˜‚
        Hahha damn these are 10 years old dudes, I can imagine πŸ˜‚
        Thank you and will catch you later 😊❀️

      10. I think if the sun doesn’t make someone happy then they have problems. How could it not?!
        Haha it did take the 3rd cup πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ You know me well πŸ™‚
        Didn’t speed me up much though. Might have to rethink this whole coffee thing πŸ€”
        Haha yes, only 10. God help me! And he tells me off if I curse πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
        In work here. Although that’s just a technicality as I’m on my phone haha
        Hope your day is going well 😁
        Talk later and much love 😊❀

      11. Oh yes even though some don’t care, they prefer autumn and winter! I don’t know how
        Yes you should start considering coffee a bit, or at least beside the tea😁
        I can imagine OMG πŸ˜‚ very hard generation!
        Working but on the phone hahah here it’s not too busy so I could post something also previously prepared, gladly 😊
        Talk later then and much love ❀️ 😊

      12. Oh I like Autumn too…As long as the sun’s still shining. But don’t start me on winter. Not good at coping with the cold.
        I should consider coffee. Might get all the caffeine I need without having to drink as many cup fulls πŸ˜‚
        Oh it was a tough day. No motivation anywhere. It wasn’t just me haha
        Look at you with your forward planning πŸ‘ I could learn a thing or two.
        Must dash. Duty calls.
        Hopefully catch you later. Much love Huguette 😊❀

      13. Yes as long as the sun is there 😊 I hate cold as well!
        Yes you will need a small cup to have the caffeine you need not like 4 cups of tea πŸ˜‚
        Well this forward planning is helping I wasn’t motivated at all today! But the post was nearly ready, some days you feel many ideas and things knocking, some other days nothing!
        Take good care and much love to you 😊❀️

      14. Indeed. The only thing I enjoy when it’s cold is sitting in front of an open fire.
        A small cup? I’d probably end up still having 4 then haha Then I’d be running around like a madman all morning until I collapsed πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
        Some days are harder to get going. When I get ideas j make sure to write something down somewhere. But sometimes you do think what the hell am I going to write next. I remember writing a post I thought was my best work ever then thinking after ‘well that’s me screwed. I’ll never do better than that’ πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
        You take care too Huguette. Much love always ❀❀

      15. same here! Fire must be available hahaa
        okay then have some big cup and let’s see how you’ll cope hahhaπŸ˜‚
        Yes many posts just came suddenly to my mind they were the best! like the envy post and April 1st and some posts that occasions triggered them…Now most of times are awards posts so my brain is kind of freezing, I also write each idea the moment I have it…
        Good night for now and much love to you as well 😊❀

      16. Another comment. Woo hoo 😊
        Oh yes. Fire is the only good thing about winter.
        Jesus, I dread to think. I’m always on the go as it is. Don’t think there would be any coping at all πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
        Don’t forget ‘Eagle’s’!
        I’m gonna stop with awards actually. I enjoy letting people knowing more about me and the fact someone would think of me for them (mostly you actually haha) but they’re getting in the way of what I want to do.
        It’s good to get ideas down. The holidays have ruined me a bit though. Hopefully they’ll come flying back soon.
        Think this is 3rd time but…Goodnight and much love Huguette Haha 😊❀

      17. Another comment indeed 😊😊
        Just give the coffee a try, who knows 😊
        Yes most of the good posts were created instantly! I have now 2 awards I must work on, I don’t want to stop apologizing so I really don’t know…I almost said anything about me! Oh well anything that can be said at least hahah
        Checking another comment and thank you for all the good nights, I needed them 😊
        Much love to you as well 😊❀

      18. Seems I’ve found more comment treasure 😊
        I think I’ll have to give it a go. My tea drinking it getting out of hand haha
        It’s funny I read this comment about the awards now. Don’t want to say anymore until you see my comment there πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
        ‘Anything that be said at least’ haha Now that’s the stuff I want to know! haha
        Auch, I’m glad you got those goodnights especially if you needed them. Sorry I couldn’t do more.
        Right. I’ll be back later. Duties call.
        Much love Huguette 😊❀

      19. hahah treasure that taking all you time πŸ™‚
        there’s nothing harmful from drinking lot of tea I guess so should be no problem 😊
        πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ indeed! I hardly found something to say and you can always ask dear Chris, hope the answers won’t shock you though πŸ™„πŸ™„
        you’re doing just great with all this kindness and nice words and they’re all highly appreciated 😊😊 Much love to you <3

      20. Huguette, I enjoy my time chatting with you. It’s time well spent in my opinion 😊
        I hope so. Surprised I’m not peeing tea at this point haha
        Ohhh possibly shocking answers. I’m intrigued πŸ€”πŸ˜‚ Now, what questions to ask? Haha By the way I used to hang with a bit of a wild crowd. Matter of fact my current friends used to be pretty wild too. So it does take a lot to shock me.
        Glad you appreciate the kindness and words. It’s the same for me. To be really honest I can’t imagine going a day without talking to you. It just wouldn’t seem right. I’d miss the love and laughs 😊
        Going to see what else we’re talking about haha ❀

      21. Thank you Chris, same here 😊 hahaha You’ll certainly pee lot of tea πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
        Well sometimes what shock you is really simple, doesn’t need to be wild at all but it’s good to know more about you 😁
        So nice of you to say so! (not flirting I hope hahah) same here Chris, it’s a pleasure chatting with you and I also wonder why Chris didn’t show up when you’re away for some time 😊😁
        I guess I will be sleeping by the time you reply all comments haha so just in case: Good night and much of love <3 😊

      22. That’s good to know 😊
        Well the same thing goes for you. Want to know anything just ask. Probably safer by email πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
        You’re getting more intriguing by the day πŸ€”πŸ˜
        Haha Not on here. Although if I knew you in real life…who knows haha
        It’s nice to know you would wonder about me too if I was away a while 😊
        Haha you probably will be sleeping. Think I’m going to be a while πŸ˜‚
        If that’s the case goodnight and much love to you too 😊❀

      23. I think you’re a clear and straightforward man, I don’t need to know more that I’m reading in your posts or through the chats 😊 I’m not that intriguing, I just have a part in my life that is only for me that’s it, at least for now and I certainly work on myself always so for some maybe I’m perfect but for me I’m work in progress but my self confidence is very good πŸ™‚
        Yes I couldn’t but sleep, it was after midnight so I read one last post for a fellow blogger and slept 😊
        Thank you for the goodnight wishes, now hope your day is going smoothly and much love to you <3 😊

      24. Well I like to think I am 😁 I can be a bit blunt sometimes and can make people uncomfortable because of that haha
        It’s great your confidence is very good. It’s hard to have that sometimes. But I think it helps knowing where your strengths and weaknesses are.
        And I think you are intriguing but part of that is the difference in culture also. Here I would guess women have a bit more freedom. So being who you want to be is a bit easier as people are generally accepting of that.
        Didn’t sleep too well either. A’s mum has been around with him while I work as he is still on holidays. They were getting on great last night. Which I know is good for him. But I actually found myself getting a bit annoyed. Trying to figure out why exactly. I should be happy about that. Ended up thinking about it a lot.
        Oh Jesus. I’m in some form this morning. Got to get my act together.
        Complaining and introspection stops here.
        Need to get ready for work. Talk sometime no doubt.
        Much love Huguette. Hope your day goes well 😊❀

      25. Nobody’s perfect! You must see me when I’m grumpy and angry! I always stay alone anyway hahah
        Yes we spend our life trying to really know ourselves it’s not easy but we make progress every day I guess
        Being what I want to be is a big word and not applicable at all in this country
        It’s one of these days where everything can annoy us don’t worry it will vanish, just keep the flow and let things happen and always see the positive side of the things so you’ll feel automatically better πŸ‘
        You can complain until it feels better don’t worry at all 😊
        My day is good thank you and much love and support to you ❀️😊

      26. Haha Do i want to?! Haha At least you have the sense to be alone. I’ll admit to being a terrible grumpy person. When I am I don’t care who knows and I don’t hide it either. No pretending. Some people don’t like that. They just want to hear everything’s fine and see a fake smile.
        You’re right. Sometimes it’s not easy. As long as we try I suppose.
        I think your country seems to be a bit restricting for women. Rooted in old ways. That’s a difficult thing to live with.
        Oh and I do appreciate you letting me complain. Really. Thank you 😊
        Also appreciate the love and support. Sort’ve need it today.
        Glad your day’s been good 😊
        Much love always Huguette 😊❀

      27. Nope you don’t want to hahah yes alone is better and it’s not about being fake but at workplace and with strangers, you must make an effort, at least this is how I think, a part of being professional that’s it…or that these people don’t need to see me like this…only close friends and family probably even though I don’t let them know at all if I’m not well…they will b worried for nothing…
        Well it’s a subject I rather not to discuss it …my country and so…
        Glad the love and support were useful today 😊 and yes complain and then you’ll feel better and stop complaining hahah
        Much love and support 😊 <3

      28. Haha good job I’m miles away then 😁
        Oh I know what you mean. If I worked in a more professional environment I would be more contained. But the people I work closely with are either friends or people you can speak your mind to.
        I guess you’re also a bit more guarded than I. But I can also see your point about not wanting close people to worry.
        Your country. Your right to not speak about it. I know you’ve said before about being proud of your homeland. That’s fair enough. Hope I didn’t come across as insulting. Certainly not my intention.
        Oh the complaining is done for another while at least haha
        Much love and kindness to you 😊❀

      29. Yes it’s good you are 😌
        Well yes the work environment plays a role, and colleagues, they define the way you act, I agree
        No offense was taken, don’t worry
        Complaining pays off hahah
        I can see comments popping 😌

      30. Yes I should be sleeping in regular days so glad could catch up after long day
        Good night and much love and support ❀️😊

      31. At least you’ll have a lie in tomorrow. Enjoy your rest. It’s well deserved.
        Glad we could catch up too. Nice finish to a trying day.
        Goodnight No.3 haha
        Much love and support to you too 😊❀

      32. Sounds like you plan to already haha
        I’ve spent so much time trying to keep up my tea has gone cold πŸ˜‚
        Goodnight Huguette. Last one for sure haha
        Thanks for today/tonight. Really very appreciated 😊
        Much love to you always ❀

      33. Of course 😁 but not as expected but it’s fine 😌
        Tea us cold hahah no good
        Catch you in the next comment
        Much love and support 😊❀️

      34. But that’s the emoji that’s saying it’s fine….but could quickly not be. Sweet and innocent…but not really haha
        Yes, was too busy typing and not drinking. By the time I did it was cold haha
        Have to go for a little bit. The creature upstairs is stirring πŸ˜‚
        Thanks for the love and support. Especially yesterday πŸ™β€
        Much love and support for you too 😊❀

      35. Aww two goodnights and a sweet dreams as well. Really am blessed tonight 😊
        Goodnight and sweet dreams to you too 😊😊❀

  3. Chris you know that I’ve always find your journey from “Darkness to Light and hope” very inspiring. And, this is post is really something! I think everyone should read it, especially the younger generation, who I think don’t know how to cope up with dark times. It is truly a source of inspiration and motivation for everyone! 😊
    It takes a lot of courage to write about those dark painful times. Depression is the worst feeling for anyone. But I think, for men it’s even harder to express their feelings and expose their vulnerability because of the stereotype, we all are raised with, that “Men don’t Cry!”. It was brave enough of you to admit how much you cried and how miserable and vulnerable you felt! Not everyone can do that! You don’t hide your feelings or sugarcoat them to sound fancy but write straight from your heart And that’s what makes your posts so authentic😊
    And, I can’t even imagine how much strength it must’ve took to put a happy face in front of your son, when you felt so much pain and misery deep down under. You’re a incredible father! πŸ˜ƒ

    I don’t think there are many people in the world that after all you’ve went through, are positive, confident and hopeful😁 You’re real inspiration Chris! πŸ˜ƒ

    I just hope that many people read it, and realise that there really is hope no matter how dark the time seems. 😊

    Much love to you!❀

    1. Ah Gees Swastik. Between you and Huguette you are both going to ruin me with kindness 😊 Not a bad thing I might add 😁
      I actually wrote it with younger people in mind in the hope it will let them feel it’s ok to feel broken or down. That it’s not the end of the world. That there’s always hope.
      It’s funny that you say brave. I’ve heard that a few times today. Personally I don’t think I am. Was just talking about my truthful reality.
      It does mean a lot to me that you think I’m an inspiration. No more than your good self I might add.
      We’re all doing good here. Trying to help and uplift people. I think that’s great 😁
      I hope you’ve had a great day Swastik and have an even better one tomorrow 😊
      Much love to you too 😊

  4. Life is not always easy. The struggle is there everyday. For sure we all have ups and downs. Sometimes the downs are so dark that we think that we will never get up. But as you said and I’ve always said for myself, everything depends on the mindset. The first thing to do is changing your mindset. Once you do that everything will change and you did it Chris! You’ve changed it! Difficult but so awfully wonderful! Move and keep moving! You can do everything! Thank you for sharing! 😊

    1. Oh you’re right there Ribana. Mindset is the key. And all it takes is a little consious thought. Our mind’s are so powerful.
      I appreciate the encouragement. Thank you very much. Very nice of you to say so.

    1. Sorry to hear you experienced something similar but I’m glad to hear you have overcome it πŸ™‚ Well done πŸ’ͺ As you say it’s not easy.
      I hope you have as much pride for yourself!
      I wish you continued strength on your journey πŸ™‚

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