The Most Important Thing To Do If You Fall

You have your plans. You’ve built up those good habits that have taken months to make a regular part of your day. You know the things you need to do each day to make things better. Then life comes along. Laughs in your face and your attempts to take control of it. Forces those habits out the window and poo poo’s your plans. What do you do?

As I’m writing this I know the answer. It doesn’t make the week I’ve had any more palatable though. It doesn’t stop me from sitting here feeling low, feeling frustrated, feeling annoyed at myself. Ok, some of it was beyond my control. Some wasn’t though. I should’ve done better.

It all really kicked off on Monday. Without going into too much detail it involved a Snapchat group my son is in with a bunch of his friends. One of the parents had seen the messages in the chat. Was ‘horrified’ by what she saw. Took it to someone she knew who was a teacher. That teacher in turn took it to her school principal. Who then took the matter to another school principal. (All the group are from two different primary schools).

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Here’s the thing. This had nothing to do with the schools. The messages were from 3 weeks ago. They happened on a Sunday. It wasn’t something that happened in school time, on school grounds, or when the kids were in uniform or representing the school in any way.

I can excuse the initial parent for being an oversensitive nitwit. The teacher on the other hand should have had more sense as her school principal also should have. They both should have realised it wasn’t a school matter (Like the sensible principal at my son’s school). That it was just an issue for the parents.

Here’s the other thing. As soon as I saw what my son had written I knew where it came from. I knew it was a quote from a gamer he watches. I knew he was saying it as a laugh. There was a ‘f’ word and a ‘s’ word in it. Words that he didn’t even spell out. He only wrote the letter ‘f’ and the letter ‘s’. Personally I thought it was no big deal.

The real problem came the next day though. Anyone who reads my blog will know that since his mother left my boy has been having problems with school. Feeling so sad at times he can’t face going in. We are in a very delicate position regarding that. This event just triggered him. That morning he was in a very bad emotional state. As a result he missed school. I missed work as obviously I had to stay with him. He was very subdued that day. Very low. Dwelling on that problem as well as the issues he has with his mother being gone.

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I do what I normally do in these times. Just stay by his side. That evening his mother called and I decided to drop all the things I normally do just to watch a movie. Oh I’m regretting that choice now. I won’t be doing that again in future. Especially that now with hindsight if I had just stuck to my normal schedule I wouldn’t be feeling as bad about my current situation.

On Wednesday he was back at school. I was back at work. I was annoyed at myself for letting things slip. I thought about what I needed to do that evening to get back on track.

Around 1:15pm I got a phone call from the school. My boy had hurt himself. They thought he might have broken his wrist.

So I dropped everything. Left work to pick him up and then drove to the hospital. Turns out he had a buckle fracture in his wrist. By the time we got home it was almost 8:30pm.

He was so low. So sad about not being able to do the things he likes to do that he just lay on the sofa. As he is my biggest priority I just sat there with him. Then we went to bed as usual.

I awoke today in a terrible mood. Thankfully my boy was feeling better mentally. He was happy to go to school. I could go to work. Some normality had resumed.

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My problem then just became me and my mind. I dwelled all day on how I have missed doing the things I need to do. I have done no exercise since Monday. The longest period since it became a, if not daily then at least every second day, habit. I got no writing done. No blogging done. No comments replied to in days. I hadn’t even started an online course that I have already paid for. I was even frustrated at the fact I was working. Doing the job I need to at the moment to pay the bills, but not able to do the things I really want to. The things that will help me improve my son and I’s life.

Between these events and my behaviour I derailed myself. Even though it was an emotionally trying time I had used that as an excuse to get lazy. I could have got up again when he was sleeping. I could have woken earlier as I’ve recently discovered I can get my alarm turned off before he awakens. I could’ve done those things despite the obstacles life was throwing at me. I could’ve. But I didn’t.

I was off the track. Had slipped off course. Had fallen off the wagon (Not in the pot smoking way thankfully. Those days are over).

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Good habits had been broken. I feel like it’s almost harder to get going again. I’ve been beating myself up about it. On top of that I’ve been feeling a bit lonely today. A bit low. The emotional whirlwind of the past few days taking their toll.

I started to think of the amount of things I needed to get done. Where was I going to start? What needed prioritized? Lost time is lost time no matter what the reason. I can’t afford to lose anymore time.

So at the risk of turning this into the equivalent of a Mel Robbins’ ‘The 5 Second Rule’  7 and a half hour audio book that deals with a simple premise, (Before you do something count backwards from 5), I’ll get to the point.

What happened then was I remembered something important. The most important thing of all. The answer to the question posed at the start. What do you do when it all goes wrong? When your plans fall apart. When Life gets in the way of what you want to do. When you get in the way of yourself. When you fall of the horse.

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It’s simple really. You get back up. Brush yourself off and start again. You come to terms with it. Accept what it was and move on.

It reminds me of a quote from Batman Begins when young Bruce Wayne falls down a well and gets rescued by his father. A quote that their butler Alfred later says to Batman. ‘Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.’

So this is me picking myself up. Even in the process of writing this I am feeling better. I’m getting back on track. Back on the right path. I’m even getting into my little gym after this. Getting back into the habit.

So for anyone out there beating themselves up over trying something and failing. Feeling like they have let themselves down. Whether it was avoidable or not. Have heart. It’s ok. Sometimes things won’t go as you hoped. Sometimes things might get in your way. It might be life. It might be you. It doesn’t matter. What matters is you pick yourself up.

You pick yourself up and try again. And if you stumble or fall. Then just pick yourself up again. We’re not robots. We’re not perfect. We’re only human. We won’t always get it right. But as long as you try, and keep trying, keep picking yourself up, you’ll get there in the end.

 

 

 

 

15 thoughts on “The Most Important Thing To Do If You Fall

  1. You are perfectly right! We are only humans, we are not perfect…of course life is not always easy, we fail and feel miserable but what is important is to not waste our time by judging ourselves: oh I could have it done better, I could have done that or that…doesn’t matter…life goes on and we must go on! Get up and start again! That’s all that matter! 😊 And by the way, I think nowadays school is not school anymore…they are everywhere, they just want to control everything, your whole life even when you’re not at school…this sucks 😒

    1. I agree Ribana. Getting up and moving on is all that matters. Can’t change the past after all.
      Oh don’t get me started on schools haha
      I’ve always had an issue with ‘authority’. The type that tries to control everything. So I totally agree with what you’re saying regarding schools. I remember being advised to ban my son from doing the things he enjoys if he was off school. All I could say was that I wouldn’t. He was off because he was desperately unhappy and they wanted me to punish him for that when he was suffering enough already. It’s not his fault he feels the way he does.
      Going to stop here as I think I’ll go off on a rant 😁
      Thanks for your comment and insight.
      Hope you have a lovely weekend.

      1. You did very well! Oh these people should concentrate more on themselves and on their matters than to poke into others life 😒
        I agree with you, better stop it otherwise we can go ahead for days and nothing we can solve ☺️
        Important is for him to get over it and be happy! Same for you! This is all that matters! 😊 Have a great day!

      2. Hi Ribana. Sorry for the late reply. Your comment got spammed and I forget to keep checking the damned thing.
        Oh you’re really going to get me going with schools and nosy people. If the ‘horrified’ person had of come to me directly she would have left even more horrified hahah. I believe that by overreacting to trivial matters we only teach kids to hide things from us. Especially when it comes to more serious stuff. That style of parenting is not for me.
        I appreciate your insight and especially your words for my son and I’s happiness. Thank you. Hope you are having a great weekend.

  2. OMG I’m sorry to hear so! How is A doing now? What happened? how is his wrist now?
    Sorry got busy and then I was a bit tired and away! Great post despite everything you’re still inspiring people and help them to handle their shit which is great! Happy you could manage after that and I’m sure you’ll always find a way to catch what life throw on you! And you’ll always pick yourself up! By the way I love this quote for Alfred, I have it on my phone!
    I know this snapshat story but I think this parent has overreacted since you as his father didn’t think it’s a big deal and it wasn’t in school time anyway! And hey don’t blame yourself for watching the movie! The problem wouldn’t be less if you didn’t! And you know that very well so you don’t need to feel bad at all! and after all the boy also needs his mother probably more that his father (sorry but this is how I think) so she should play some role here right?
    Great inspiring message you have spread from this bad week! There’s a reason for everything we go through and the greatest reason is when we learn and we become stronger!
    Much love and support to you and A and hope he’s good today <3😊

    1. Hi Huguette. Thanks for the concern. A is doing ok. He’s actually really trying to be independent and do things himself without asking for help. It happened while playing football. Should take about 3 weeks to heal. As far as fractures go it’s not the worst. It’s annoying him that he can’t play the Xbox.
      You can’t help being busy. While we’d probably love to spend all our time on here it’s just not possible…dammit haha
      You have the quote on your phone? Haha brilliant. It is a great one.
      First time I watched a movie since Infinity War. Just annoyed I wasted time. Ah well.
      I appreciate your mother/father view. And she has been trying to be involved more. All the same she is quite a critical person and her default attitude is one of complaining and giving off about things. Not all mothers are suited to their role. There’s always the exceptions to the norm. But yes, she should play a role. Kids need their mums. Same time they need good mums.
      Well I’m glad the week is nearly over and things are picking up. Hope you’ve enjoyed this past few days and have a great weekend ahead.
      Appreciate the love, support and concern. Especially for A. Thanks 😊
      Much love to you Huguette 😊❤

      1. Great to know he’s okay and he’s doing some efforts, not a bad quality! Hopefully he will recover very soon, 3 weeks are not so bad for a fracture but he needs to take care as much as he can! Sure kids miss the video games the most!
        Yes in my gallery not like a wallpaper or something hahaha I love it
        Well not in a position to judge her motherhood skills, but I’m sure A needs her so much so hopefully she will meet his expectations as a child.
        Hope the upcoming days will be better and the weekend will be happy despite all the ups and downs…Thank you for your wishes as well and it’s least we can do, sending some love and support virtually 😊
        Much love and support to you 😊 <3

      2. Thanks for the kind words regarding A. Shows a lot of caring and consideration 😊
        The A and his mum thing is such a double edged sword. Great for him. Not so much for me. Obviously he’s the most important but that doesn’t make things easier for me. Sort’ve struggling with it this past few days. Guess I’m just feeling a bit lonely this week. Ah well.
        Appreciate the love and support 😊
        Same to your good self.
        Much love to you Huguette 😊❤

      3. Oh well hope he’s better and you’re both enjoying the weekend 😊
        If she’s good to him and she’s a good mother to him, if he enjoys her company, my opinion you should let it be and just distance yourself probably but if she’s not good to him it’s another scenario…
        Feeling lonely is so common and no shame of feeling lonely, we always need someone to share our life despite what we say or pretend but some people are so true to themselves so they don’t settle for anyone
        Hope you’ll find that someone even if you’re not searching
        Much love and support and best of luck always 😊❤️

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