We like to blame things for our problems. We blame circumstances, our past, our upbringing, the people around us. We can blame everyone and everything. But the biggest problem in life, in your life, is you.
Don’t worry though. It’s the same for everyone. We all have our battles. The challenges we face everyday. Some appear insurmountable. Some mere bumps on the road. Each day we make decisions. We’re either choosing to progress or regress. We either do what we feel is the right thing…or we don’t do anything at all.
Sometimes we let emotion rule our minds. Sometimes cold logic. Sometimes despite knowing what we really must do we still don’t do it. It seems our minds just want us to take the easy route. The path of least resistance. Seek comfort more than anything. Avoid our problems.
The problem there is that comfort and avoidance doesn’t change anything. Real change comes from doing that which we find difficult, a challenge. We wish for an easy life when life is anything but easy.
We question our decisions, our actions and reactions. We worry about things that have passed and things we think may come. We let our fears dictate our behaviour. Can’t accept the things we need to accept. We make ourselves our biggest problem in life.
The Problem Of Perspective
Here’s a story of two people. One is a bit of a loser. He feels like he never really succeeded at anything. Feels like he has failed at life. Failed those closest to him. His friends, family, and son. He sometimes struggles with those failures. Dwells in dark thoughts. Feels overwhelmed, weak, and lonely. Feels adrift in the sea of life.
The other is quite the opposite. He is strong, determined. Has overcome obstacles and continues to do so. He views failures as stepping stones to success. He knows he has talents and puts them to use. He’s a great father, a good friend, and can be a rock for those who need him. He’s not adrift. He’s standing on top of a mountain revelling in the beauty all around.
Those two people. They aren’t really two at all. They’re one. They’re me.
They fight with each other constantly. They challenge each other’s mindset. Maybe one wins out for a few days or weeks. But the other always gets his say too. One say’s that there is more to life. That there is always something special to be found. The other thinks: ‘is this as good as it gets?’.
Here’s the thing though. It really doesn’t matter which perspective is in the driving seat. It only matters a little in how much easier or harder it is to do things. But it doesn’t change the reality.
How To Overcome Your Biggest Problem In Life
See, it doesn’t matter that you can be your biggest problem. It doesn’t matter which way you are looking at your life. It doesn’t matter if you feel like a colossal failure or a rousing success. If you’re high or low.
What matters most of all is that you continue to do what you know you need to do. And if you don’t know what that is? The only way you are ever going to find out is by doing things. Thinking only matters a little. Doing matters a lot.
“Trust only movement. Life happens at the level of events, not of words. Trust movement.”Alfred Adler
What matters is that you keep moving. Keep striving. Keep pushing your own boundaries. What matters is that you get up. Get dressed. And get your ass moving.
There’s a lot to be said about movement. About action. About doing. If you’re lost, it’s the best way of finding something. If you’re down and low, it’s the best way of lifting you up. Sometimes you just have to put yourself out there. Change things. Either change the within, or change the without.
Your perception is only that. A perception. It can shift from one day to the next. But the things you do. They are still the things you do no matter how you feel about them, or yourself, at the time.
You might feel like crap. Feel like you are a let-down, a loser, a disappointment. But imagine if you just handed a homeless person some money which meant they wouldn’t starve that day. Or you wrote some words that put hope in someone else’s heart. Or you hugged someone who hasn’t felt a human touch in weeks.
Do you think they would have the same perception of you? In that moment, with that action, you have given them something. Something more than you’ve probably even felt in yourself. Something beyond your perception of you.
And your problems. The ones you have around you and within you. Who’s to say they are even problems at all. Yes, they might be challenging you right now, and may have been for months. Yes, you might be struggling with feelings of self worth, of not feeling good enough, of thinking there is no escape from them.
But the beauty of problems is that they can provide you with a gift. By overcoming that problem you will gain an insight, a belief, that may not only benefit you but the people around you.
I know people who have changed their lives since I have changed mine. I know a young man who stopped smoking marijuana when he saw that I, someone who smoked for over 20 years, could do it. I know another person who is putting his life in order, is doing the things he needs to do to live the life he wants, because he sees me trying to do the same.
“You have to own your problems or your problems will own you.”David Goggins
When Your Problems Seem Too Much
There is a stage on the road to spiritual development often noted in mystical literature called the ‘dark night of the soul’. It represents a state of mind characterised by depression, disbelief, uncertainty, and a feeling of personal and universal worthlessness. The epitome of ourselves being our biggest problem.
This ‘dark night’, however, comes before a great enlightenment. A breakthrough to fresh understanding. As Thomas Fuller, 17th Century author and theologian, put it: ‘It’s always darkest before the dawn’.
So even when you feel your problems are taking over. Even when it feels like there is no way forward. That might not even be the whole truth of it. Your answers might just lie in the dawn’s first light. The solution just one day, one hour, one minute away.
Everyone Has Problems
There is no escaping our problems. Whether our own or those trust upon us. We all have them. But by facing those problems head on. By getting to the root of the cause. By accepting who we are, where we are, and what we can do. We might just find that things aren’t so bad after all.
We might be our biggest problem in life. But we are also our best solution.